Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Here's the problem with just about every Goddamn thing I see on commercials: it's all form. The way I think, I say "What does it do, and how well does it do it?" This is the whole basis of my attitude towards buying stuff. The modern man, it's all about your style, your popped collar, your bling, your fuckin' crackberry. I mean, there's nothing wrong with form, but in the long run, would you rather have something that works well, or that looks good? It also almost guarantees problems with my girlfriend.

"Des, why don't you get a suit?"

Do I wear a suit, day to day? No, I go to college across a number of bus routes. I'm not going there to look pretty. I'm going to learn, and to carry my kit, I want a decent set of pants that I can put everything I want in. Therefore, is a suit going to fulfill my purposes? No, it's going to make me stand out and make me a target for the criminal element.

"But Des, you'll need it when you enter the real world!"

Uh huh. I didn't need my DEUs (dress uniform) terrible often the last time I was in the 'real world'. What I need right now are pants that fit, that are comfortable and rugged. I need shirts that are comfortable, rugged, and don't scream OH HEY LOOK A NARC/COP! Now, let's look at my options:

1. Common, stylish pants: Not rugged. Not comfortable. Since I'm doing more than sitting in a cafe smoking cloves, anything that could possibly be called stylish can go pound sand.

2. El Cheapo Bonanza pants: comfortable, but will shred like, as my buddy Jeriah put it, your cock after a week at a Thai brothel.

3. Suit Pants: Do I have to say much?

That's just an example, I suppose. I don't think it's such a massive paradigm shift that I wear cargos to school. Or a decent set of jeans. The way I see it, I already give off a bit of cop vibe. I wear cargos and boots, and I keep my hair short. This of course makes me a Bad Man to the dope-smoking philosophy majors. I usually wear what can only be described as a nerd shirt (something with a game design or pop culture reference), so that helps mitigate the appearance that I DARE to wear clothing that's practical. On a tangent- when did it become weird to wear clothing that works? Deviant to wear easy-going, comfortable pants instead of jeans that require a jar of Vaseline to get on? Or criminal to have a pocketknife?

And another thing! Since when did looking good trump being warm in the winter? I mean, I wear a big ol' Soviet Afghanka coat, have a toque and leather gloves in the winter. Hell, if it's blustry enough, I'll even grab a scarf. This makes me deviant- just look at the kids standing around outside with puffy jackets and ballcaps when it's twenty below out. Hell, that's if they have headgear.

Christ Jesus, I'm a dying breed at 24.

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